One Last Time

This poem is Rafael's second contribution to our blog. Rafael is a formerly incarcerated individual committed to disrupting the Prison Industrial Complex. He is a JustLeadershipUSA Emerging Leader and member of their Closerikers Campaign in partnership with the Katal Center for Health, Equity and Justice.

About this piece he says, “The reason why or how I came up with this piece was because an associate of mine is currently volunteering their time at ‘Rosie’s’, the Rose M. Singer Center women’s facility on on Rikers Island. So he was telling me what he was doing with the students (a literary class)and it just bought me back to that time and place when I was incarcerated.”

(like in prison, there is explicit content)

One last time I will subject myself to the Hatred that plague mankind's heart One last time I won't think about my loves one's and the way they might feel...about my actions One last time I will allow years to fly by right before my eyes till I see my child again One last time I will lose everything I gained, from a rushed decision One last time Will I see myself cry, because of chain of events, I set into action One last time Will I lose, the one's I love One last time Will a 6 minutes phone call, be my only communication to the outside world One last time Will I have another man tell me, when I can or can't use the fucking bathroom One last time Will I be on the count One last time Will I be a stain on society One last time I will be a liability instead of an asset One last time Will I eat a cop out sandwich One last time Would I allow, another man to see my mother fucking balls One last time Will I have to cry after a 45 minute visit One last time That my woman will leave me and I can't blame her One last time My children will forget about me One last time My life will cease to exist One last time I would have to bow down to a lesser man One last time Will I leap with out looking One last time I will speak out of place One last time Would I look in the mirror and not be happy with what I see One last time Will I allow another man to take what is mines One last time I will make everybody who ever talked shit about me, or did me wrong eat shit for breakfast.